Lightening: The Failed Fish

Let me preface this story by saying that I grew up with fish. They were mine. I think I had dozens and lost dozens and never felt to bad when they died. I was always afraid of them and dad had to clean my tank out always. I used to have a tiny frog in my tank. I would always hurry to put the food in the tank because I was afraid he would jump out.

Anyway, I couldn't understand my husband's reaction when Karter was given a fish for his birthday. It was, "Oh NO...Here we go." Karter was delighted with it (especially when we took the bowl up to his room). Kel relinquished all responsibility to me. I was going to clean the bowl, feed the fish, etc. So on Sunday night we were getting the kiddos ready for bed. Kelly comes in Jace's room and whispers in my ear, "uh, Lightening is belly up." I told him he had better tell Karter and this is what I hear from Jace's room:

Kel: "Karter, what is Lightening doing?"
Karter: "I don't know dad...why isn't he moving?"
Kel: "He's dead."
Karter: "I don't want my fishy to be dead."

Then we proceed to tell him that fishies get flushed down the toilet when they are dead. So far so good. I haven't seen the destroyed face of my 4-year-old. As I turn the corner to help with the "burial process." I see my little boy, standing over the toilet, looking down at his fish, shoulders hunched and head down. This breaks my heart. I tell him he has to flush so his fishy can go to fishy heaven. He flushes but leaves his hand on the handle of the toilet for a long time. Then, he walks over to me and cuddles me and once again, says, "Mommy, I don't want my fishy to be dead." This brings the tears for me and I spend the rest of the night bawling my eyes out that my son felt the pain of losing something.

Ten minutes later he was perfectly fine. But before he fell asleep that night he said, "Hey daddy? Do you think Auntie Nati has another fish somewhere?" To which we both reply with an emphatic "NO!"